Sunday, May 23, 2010

生物的哀愁


p.67 / model:Andrzej Pagowski


"他望著我,眼神中有一種酸苦之意,說:如果我知道,那就不是直覺了。
我在剎那間感到,他說這句話的時候,是我和他的心靈最接近的一刻。
在那裡,我們彷彿差點而相碰,但始終卻錯過了,我們又漸漸離對方越來越遠。"


quoted from 安卓珍尼 written by 董啟章


--



為什麼要寫出這樣一篇小說反對(異性戀的)愛情
我不懂
愛情裡一定會有最大最激烈的寂寞
一定會有無法克服的心靈距離
一定會有黑暗得叫人難以自制的慾望
可是這就是愛情
愛情沒有什麼了不起,愛情是兩頭動物為了暫時忘記生存的絕望而互相舔噬啃咬
幸運的愛情是他們互相理解了彼此的哀傷,一起克服生存的絕望,一起創造生活的價值
不幸運的愛情是他們什麼都不做
只是這樣而已






x x x

Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Human Centipede | 人體蜈蚣 | 我只剩下對藝術性的讚服




The Human Centipede 人體蜈蚣 (2009)


--

開著燈不發一語地看完,覺得很噁心很害怕,不敢繼續多想
趕快分心作別的事,檔案也直接刪掉不願留在電腦裡
然後
睡一覺起來,睜著眼睛躺在床上,竟然默默地在腦海裡將整部電影重演一遍
每個畫面,每句台詞,每個眼神,都自動且流暢地浮現上來
侵占掉我的意識
我越是掉進情節裡,越有一種逐漸真實的悲傷湧起
我開始明白那些事情是很有可能發生的
一個人因為他自己的狂想與慾望,手上又剛好有堪用資源與能力
就的確能夠不必過問地
宰制別人的人生
這是很有可能的,又簡單,又純粹,我幾乎都要問為何不了呢?
但是仍然感覺悲傷
不只因為受驚於死者的徒勞與不幸
也為那創作者那種單向性,孤獨的成就感感到悲傷 

--

不過兩天後再回想就一個爽字
不是對情節的讚服
是對藝術性的讚服




x x x

New Order - Subculture

new order = heartbroken band ...



I like walking in the park
When it gets late at night
I move round in the dark
And leave when it gets light
I sit around by day
Tied up in chains so tight
These crazy words of mine
So wrong they could be right

What do I get out of this
I always try, I always miss
One of these days you'll go back to your home
You won't even notice that you are alone
One of these days when you sit by yourself
You'll realise you can't shaft without someone else
In the end you will submit
It's got to hurt you a little bit

I like talking in my sleep
When people work so hard
They need what they can keep
A choice that leaves them scarred
A view without a room
Unveils the truth so soon
And when the sun goes down
You've lost what you had found

What do I get out of this
I always try, I always miss
One of these days you'll go back to your home
You won't even notice that you are alone
One of these days when you sit by yourself
You'll realise you can't shaft without someone else
In the end you will submit
It's got to hurt you a little bit

What do I get out of this
I always try, I always miss
One of these days you'll go back to your home
You won't even notice that you are alone
One of these days when you sit by yourself
You'll realise you can't shaft without someone else
In the end you will submit
It's got to hurt you a little bit

What do I get out of this
I always try, I always miss
One of these days you'll go back to your home
You won't even notice that you are alone
One of these days when you sit by yourself
You'll realise you can't shaft without someone else
In the end you will submit
It's got to hurt you a little bit

What do I get out of this
I always try, I always miss
One of these days you'll go back to your home
You won't even notice that you are alone

New Order - Face Up



Ever since I've seen your face
This life of mine has gone to waste
I was young and you were old
And I always knew you were cold
At the start you had a heart
But in the end you lost your friend
Can you see your own dark face?
It's dieing in a lonely place

Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you

As we get old, we lose our place
Reflecting back the world's disgrace
I feel so low, I feel so humble
Sometimes in life we take a tumble
Don't let anybody tell you that you're no good
Cause you know they would
Don't let anybody tell you what you should do
Cause it's not that way and...

Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure
And life was just an open door
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you

You were me and I was you
This world of ours it felt brand new
You took me a little further...
I heard it all before, I've heard it all before
I can't hear it anymore
Your hair was long, your eyes was blue
Guess what I'm gonna do to you

Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure
And life was just an open door
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought...
Oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
I said oh, oh, how I cannot bear the thought of you
We were young and we were pure...

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Crying Spider, Cactus Man, The Smiling Spider

Bertrand-Jean Redon, better known as Odilon Redon (April 20, 1840 – July 6, 1916)
was a French Symbolist painter, printmaker, draughtsman and pastellist.


The Crying Spider,1881

Cactus Man,1881

The Smiling Spider,1881

--

譯自維基百科

在這裡,在龐大的死亡之上,一個悲傷的眼皮皺起;越過這片索然的,乾枯的地景,這片鍛燒過後的平地,這片股起而顫抖的大地,在污穢模糊的天空底下,火山對著不馴的雲間爆發;這些主題,有時看來像是取自對夢靨的研究,以及史前時代的回聲,怪物似的植物旺盛地在岩石上生長,望眼所見,在那些古怪漂爍的形體與冰河泥漿之間,有類似人猿的形象浮現--厚大的顴骨,凸起的眉形,向後退的額頭,以及平板的頭頂--讓人想起那是祖先們的頭,是地質年代的頭,長著這顆頭的人類還採食維生,還沒有語言;是那時代的長毛象的頭,是長著有隔膜的鼻孔的犀牛的頭,是巨大的熊的頭。這些作品拒絕被歸類,或可粗略地說,就繪畫的限度而言,這些作品提供了一種極特殊的,狂想的形式,一種由病態與譫語生成的形式。


"我的作品具有鼓動性,並且將無法定義。它在隱晦含糊,不確定的境界中,安置我們,製造音樂。"



x x x

Sunday, May 9, 2010

New Order - Bizzare Love Triangle



Every time I think of you
I get a shot right through into a bolt of blue
It's no problem of mine
But it's a problem I find
Living the life that I can't leave behind
There's no sense in telling me
The wisdom of a fool won't set you free
But that's the way that it gose
And it's what nobody knows
And every day my confusion grows

Every time I see you falling
I get down on my knees and pray
I'm waiting for the final moment
You say the words that I can't say

Radiohead - Like Spinning Plates



湯姆,謝謝你。

While you make pretty speeches
I'm being cut to shreds
You feed me to the lions
A delicate balance

And this just feels like spinning plates
I'm living in cloud cuckoo land
And this just feels like spinning plates
Our bodies floating down the muddy river

Coldplay - The Scientist



謝謝你,克里斯。